Excitement and tragedy

Engagement is supposed to be such a happy time. And it is-- in one respect. Paul and I are so happy and we had several days of pure blissful enjoyment. And then tragedy struck. Thank you all for your prayers. This has probably been the toughest week of my dear Paul's life. We got a call last Mon. night that Paul's father had passed away. Over the next day, the details of things became painfully real to us. His dad actually died sometime on Thurs. but was not discovered until Mon. evening. The medical examiner assured us his passing was quick. He suffered a massive rupture of an ulcer. I will spare any more detail than that other than to say that Paul has images burned into his memory that will haunt him for a long time to come. He so lovingly tried to shield me from seeing the worst of things, and bore that burden for me. He tells me I was so strong for him. I just did what I could! I wrapped my arms around him and allowed the grief to happen. I prayed with him for us to have an opportunity for growth from this horrible thing. I quietly stood by his side during the visitation and funeral. I greeted so many of my soon to be family, just wishing we could have met under better circumstances. I made the 45 min. drive up north to his father's house countless times with Paul last week. I watched him grieve some more. I watched him give to others so selflessly. I thanked God for bringing this man into my life.

There is much to do with settling the estate and everything, (not to mention planning a wedding, work, parenting...) so your continued prayers are appreciated.

An urgent prayer request

It is with much sadness that I sit down to write this morning. I ask all of you to lift up my beloved, Paul. His father passed away very suddenly from a massive hemorrhage sometime over the weekend. He was found last night by a friend. Paul's dad was a professing Christian, but did not have much of a walk. Please pray for Paul as the burden of making all the arrangements and taking care of his affairs falls largely on Paul's shoulders. Also, pray especially for his sister, Dory. Dory was very close to their dad and took the news very hard. She is just a bit over three weeks away from having her first child. It has been a very high risk pregnancy, so please pray for her safety as well as that of her baby. Pray that she may be able to somehow get here for the funeral as she lives in SC. News like this is never easy and always seems to come at the worst time. Pray for us to have witnessing opportunities though it all.

The long awaited announcement

So, I haven't blogged all summer, and now you hear from me three times in a week!!!

Much to say... so little time to blog....

Ok, enough dragging on the suspense! Yes, all my friends, the night has ended for me. Paul proposed last night in a beautiful simple way that is exactly us. The date has been set for Oct. 18. We even had our first pre-marital counseling session with our pastor yesterday.

But as for the good stuff that all girls love to know: I think I have mentioned our fire pit in the back yard. Having fires after the kids are in bed had become quite common for us and very special. We bought a swing a month or so ago, so the fire time is quite cozy.

It has been quite cool the last few nights here, so we made a fire and were sipping some great flavored tea and I was eating some of my favorite Dove chocolates. We talked of some of the stuff we had just discussed in counseling with Pastor and yes, of the challenges that lay ahead of us with blending the kids together. Paul so sweetly reassured me of his love for the Lord, me, and the kids. He said many other sweet things that I will save for just us, but before I really even realized what was happening, he was before me on one knee, the fire behind him, asking me to be his bride. The setting was perfect as the fire light reflected off the diamonds. Naturally, the tears began to flow, and the only word that I could find was "yes."

A year and a half ago it seemed my world had ended. I was alone with four small children to raise. I felt no one could possible want someone with four kids and was some one else's reject. It is still hard for me to see myself the way others see me. My pastor called me a "precious gem" that Paul must love more than his own life. I do believe he does!

I do plan to write more in the coming days on my process to marriage. School starts on Mon.-- maybe then I will have some free time to write!! Yeah, right!

Here's some pics that I have taken today of my new ring! He picked perfectly-- set in white gold, it has three stones in the middle and then three small stones on each side for a total of nine diamonds!!

A new addition

We have a new addition to the house this week: her name is Mittens- our new kitten. She is about six months old, and is the hit of the week with everyone. I must admit, I am not really a cat lover, but she has grown on me quite a bit in the three days that she has been with us. And the best part is (so far anyway!) no real allergy issues with any of us!! Hope it stays that way- I think the kids would be heart broken to get rid of her!

Summer fun

I know, I know!! It has been about forever since I have given any kind of updates of things around here!! The summer is just days away from being over and my, has it flown by! When I look back, it is hard to say what consumed so much of the summer since we only did a few big things. We went to our town lake several times (I learned a first hand the importance of re-applying sun lotion- earned a whole weekend of sick time from the second degree sunburn--serious pain!) The boys went with Paul to the men's church camp out in June and then we all went to the family camp out last week. We spent the Fourth of July in Maine meeting much of Paul's family. VBS was a great highlight the first week of Aug. as well as a trip to the ocean that week with many of the church friends.

Busy, busy, never ending... We have had much rain here this summer, so we had to be creative with finding stuff to keep us busy and not drive each other crazy!!

So here are some pictures of the happenings of this summer

Bryce and Judson playing ball at the church family camp out last week. Judson and I while camping last week.

Tyler being silly. Kristen and her friend all made up for a sleepover!

Judson LOVES his blanket! This is a very common way for him to fall asleep in the van. Kristen takes a swim on the Fourth of July.

A Knight's Tale

WARNING!!! If you do not want to hear a mushy love story, then please do not continue reading. But I know many of you are dying to find out the details of my new life, so here goes...

This story begins last Aug. at our church's family camp out. Everyone knows the horrors of what life was for me last year. By late Aug. the shock of everything was beginning to wear off and a spark of life beyond divorce began to emerge. I have known Paul for years and have watched him grow in the Lord. I had taught his son for a couple of years in my Sunday School class. I knew he was a nice man, good looking, kind-- and single. But it was at this family camping trip that I first noticed Paul as good husband material. He awakened the part of me that I thought had died when the divorce happened. I briefly talked with my pastor, and he strongly cautioned me against anything because my healing was only just beginning.

Fast forward several months through all the horrors of the fall-- and all the healing that occurred through those great trials... Paul was a constant in my life through it all. A very small crew of us meet every Sunday before Sunday School for prayer. I stumbled upon the group by "accident" one morning as I was seeking a quiet place to regroup after a busy night at work. They invited me to pray with them and I found exactly what my soul needed. Paul has a very soothing voice, and week after week, his prayers were a healing balm for my heart. Through it all there was a certain attraction that both of us felt, but neither of us had any idea that anything was possible...

As I mentioned in earlier posts, with the coming of the new year and my healing process well under way, the loneliness and over-whelming desire for my children to have a father really kicked in. Paul was still in the back of my mind, but I really did not think anything was really there. By the end of Jan. Paul had somehow moved to the front of my mind!! So I again cornered my pastor and to my complete shock, he gave me a cautious green light!

So how does a shy girl go about letting a man know she is interested in him for more than just being prayer partners? A big "thank you" to whomever sent me one of those "getting to know your friends better" fill in the blank lists!! I filled it out and sent it on to many of you girls and sandwiched his email in the middle! Paul took the bait and filled in his answers. I was grinning from ear to ear when I saw his email on my screen. There was also my kids' birthday party to which I asked him to pick up pizzas on his way over to save me a trip. (He lives right down the street from the pizza place.)

This brings us to the church family winter retreat. A bunch of us were caravanning. My time schedule was a bit off from the big group's, so I sheepishly asked Paul if he would lead the way for me since I did not know where we were going. So he became my personal escort for the weekend. The retreat was a dream and we spent much time talking and playing games- with and without others. Sat. morning stands out as the real beginning of "us." I was up with Judson very early downstairs in the common area. Paul came down in search of coffee. No one else was up yet, and we had some great quiet time just talking and watching Judson play. It is a very special memory for both of us.

It is now just a few days short of four months since that time. Yes, I will just lay it out there. I am hopelessly in love. No, we are not engaged yet, but wedding bells are definitely in the not-too-distant future. With all that I have come through, I still pinch myself that it is possible to be so happy again. Before things happened, I would have never said that I had a bad marriage. I had no idea what I was missing all these years!!! Paul is so selfless, I do not know how to react sometimes. He is continually putting my needs before his own- something I have never had before.

I entitled this post "A Knight's Tale" for a special reason. (Paul, I hope you are not too embarrassed that I am sharing this with everyone-- love you!!) I think just about every couple has pet names for each other. In trying to come up with ones for us, I started calling him "my Knight." If you know me at all, you know that my favorite movie of all time is "Ever After." The Cinderella story is timeless and I love that whole Medieval time period. Paul has rescued me from so much and makes me feel so special. Then one day I got this incredible email. He tells all about the life of a knight and what he lives for. And how there is only one thing that is more powerful than a knight's love for his country... his love for his "Lady." My heart melts every time I am called "my Lady." There is so much respect and reverence that comes along with it. And Paul treats me like a lady in every way-- and tells me regularly that it will still be like this 50 years from now!! Yes, I think we both know that some of the fury heart fluttering will fade with time. But God has blessed me with a fiercely loyal person, thus putting many of my insecurities to rest.

We have had to be very creative in finding time to be with each other. Do we "go out" much? No, we are parents!! But that does not mean that we do not find the time to build our relationship. We are very glad for warm weather. The building of the fire pit has been sooooo great!! We sit for hours talking by the fire- after the kids are safely tucked in bed, of course!

It is true, we have had issues to overcome, and I am sure there are still more to be discovered. But just like an onion, he has pealed so many layers of protection off my heart and now hold the real thing in his hands! And we are so thankful that God has seen fit to give us a second chance at having a Godly home. The kids adore him, and we are fielding more and more questions about when we are getting married. We grit our teeth and say "when God's timing is right."

Oh, how God is developing patience!! It is so hard to wait!! Our pastor has some pretty strong rules for us in our dating relationship. They seemed so easy in the beginning, but as time goes on... arggggg! But we both know that it will be so worth it in the end! And all this restraint definitely adds to the respect factor. I know that Paul respects me and his position as the leader of our home so much that he is willing to put his own desires at bay for the time.

So, the tale of this "Lady" is just beginning to unfold. There will be much more to come and thank you all for sharing with me!

You know you grew up in the '80s...

I am spending WAY too much time on the computer today, but I just had to link this recent post from my friend Cindy's blog. since I have no idea how to link you to the actual post, so click on cindy and have some fun.