Precious Bryce

Bryce with Judson

I mentioned Bryce in my last post. Thankfully, the puking is over!!!! Bryce has a very special place in my heart. (I know, all my children are each special and loved equally-- please let me explain!!!)

I almost lost Bryce twice during his birth. He was in a breech position up til about a week before he was born, and I even had a c-section scheduled. When he finally flipped around, unknown to us until his birth, his cord got very tangled up around his leg. When my water broke, it compressed the cord, and his heart rate plummeted. He was four minutes away from being born by emergency c-section when we were able to relieve the pressure on him. I labored the rest of the time on my left side with my right leg held up in the air! Bryce also decided to try to come out face up in stead of face down and subsequently got very stuck in my pelvis! They had to vacuum suction him so hard he had a giant "hickey" on the top of his head that took a full month to heal! I called him my little Jewish boy since the bruise looked like a Jewish hat!

Fast forward almost five years now, and I am convinced that the short amount of time that he was deprived of oxygen during birth did have some affect on him. He has needed speech therapy since he was 2, but is now doing very well. He still has difficulty getting out all his thoughts, and will often start trying to tell me something and then just stop and say, "I love you!"

Bryce has been in our school's K-4 program this year. HE LOVES SCHOOL!!!!! He loves his teacher and all his friends. But Bryce's teacher called me yesterday. He is lagging way behind in reading skills. I knew this from the practice that I do with him, but was hoping that he would soon get it. He does not see that putting letters together can make a word. All he sees is single letters all in a row. We decided that Bryce will be repeating K-4. I know this is best for him, but I am sad as well. If I ever hear someone tease him that he flunked preschool, I do believe I will rip that kid to shreds!!!!!!

God has blessed Bryce with such a special gift. What he lacks in academic ability, he far exceeds in social skills. For as long as I can remember, everyone loves Bryce. He is cute and soooo funny! He has gorgeous eyes and he is so friendly to everyone. Bryce struggled for a long time with pronoun usage. He always referred to himself and "me." We would be walking in a store and he would proudly say to anyone who would make eye contact with him, "Hi! Me Bwyce!"

Bryce also has an incredible gift of knowing just when you need a lift. I posted his "I Love you so double bad" just a couple of weeks ago! But what touched me so much yesterday, was what his teacher said to me. She of course wants Bryce to do well, but she is also excited that she gets to have Bryce in her class for another year. She enjoys him so much.

She told me how Bryce recently threw his arms around he and said, "Miss Platka, I love you so much. You are the bestest teacher. You are like a great big birthday cake for the whole school!!"

Today...

Saw this format on Tina's blog and thought it was worth doing myself!!!

Today...

I'm wondering..... Will the vomit ever stop? (My poor little Bryce has been puking since about 4 AM.)

I'm reading... Do I read? I suppose you could count my Bible and the Ladies' Bible Study book "What do I know about my God?"

I'm feeling... thankful for God's amazing provision, even when we have meltdowns and totally lose sight of His providence, then He slaps you upside the head with exceeding abundance a couple of days later!!!

I'm happy.... Our mortgage situation is resolved and we will not be losing our house!!! Also, for the bags of boys' clothes that was laid in my lap this weekend!

I'm dreaming.... of a pollen free springtime!

I'm going..... Had planned to shoe shop for the boys... now the only thing I am doing today is LAUNDRY-- two sets of bed linens and just about every towel in the house plus all the normal weekend laundry YUCK :(

I'm wishing... both exes would just move to the farthest place on the earth!

I'm enjoying... my very loving husband. In spite of the trials that swirl around us, we have this very safe haven in each other. Oh, how I love being wrapped in his arms.

I'm planning..... my garden, cleaning the garage, planting flowers, fires by the swing.... can we say spring fever!!!

I'm laughing.... At our Pastor's illustration yesterday morning. A drunken man that had died at age 48 from alcoholism--"he pickled his liver"

I'm loving.... my life-- oh, there are just too many things to list!

I'm listening... to Bryce groan with his upset stomach and Judson chatter happily to himself while coloring (but somehow a hammer just appeared and he is now smashing the crayons into tiny pieces!!!), the washing machine spinning away all the puke, and the background of an ever- popular Avatar cartoon.

I'm wanting.... an ice cream maker-- I just think it would be totally cool to make my own ice cream!!!

I'm thinking.... how can I make Bryce feel better? The poor guy just came up and laid on my lap and then went right back to the couch groaning.

I'm clinging to.... my favorite verse of all time...

I Cor. 10:13
There hath no trial taken you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful, and will not allow you to be tried beyond that which you are able, but will with the trial also make a way of escape, so that you may be able to bear it.

The changes that people notice

Monday night I went to my ladies' Bible study. At one point of the discussion we were talking about prayer. Our leader said how so many blessing go unrealized because we fail to REALLY pray in faith believing that God will answer our prayer. "You have not because you ask not."

I spoke up about how hard that is. I gave the example of something that I have thought so much about over the last year. The night that Rodney left and I sat sobbing in my Pastor's living room, Hope, my pastor's wife told me this was a temporary thing. My heart's desire was to have a Godly, two parent home for my children. God would not have me be a "widow" so young. This was temporary.

Of course, what I thought she meant was that naturally my husband would repent and come back to us, and we would be a happy little family again. As the months wore on and that did not happen, I began to think that Hope had said that to me just to make me feel better. But she said it several more times as well. Never did she expound on it, but just a gentle reminder that God has a plan.

Now, as the second year has come and gone on that horrible day, I can look back and see just how right Hope really was. Oh, it didn't seem temporary then. But there are several women in my church that have been single moms two and three times as long as I was. Paul and I started dating just 11 months after I became single. What is truly amazing is the transformation that happened in me that I didn't even know needed to happen.

My dear friend Kerry and I sang special music on Sun. Every once in a while you get one of those songs that just fits your voice and you blend perfectly with the other person. "Holy Ground" was that for us! It challenged us a bit, but was beautiful to sing and has a great message.

Getting back to the Bible study, the comments that followed my story blew me away. I am not the same person that sat on my Pastor's couch that night. Yes, there are some scars, but over those scars has grown a beautiful confidence on my Savior instead of a man. I used to live in a sort of fear of upsetting my husband and did not carry myself with any confidence at all. The women told me that I walked right up on stage Sunday morning with my shoulders square and head up. (I have a very acute memory of Hope helping me to see just how not confident I used to walk and stand!)

Somewhere over the last two years that old, beaten down woman has disappeared. I had no idea how I looked when I walked up on that stage Sunday morning. Our sound lady also said as we got into position she thought there was going to be a problem since Kerry was standing closer to the mic than I was. As we began to sing, I unconsciously adjusted myself and we blended perfectly!

One of the older men in the church recently told Paul that I am positively beaming these days. What is amazing to me is that was said during a time when I was physically rather sick! While I am truly very happy with Paul, I think that glow that I exhibit is not so much attributed to Paul himself, but to the fact that I went through a temporary darkness in order to come out stronger!

I wish that I could say that I have mastered praying in faith, believing. I have a long way to go, I am sure. As Paul and I face some new challenges in dealing with our ex spouses, I am reminded of the scene from "Facing the Giants." We must continue on and "prepare for the rain."