I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!! I love everything about the entire season. I began planning for this year months ago. I have been stashing away some money and now I have picked up three extra shifts at work over the next two weeks. Not enough to kill me physically, but enough to bring in some good dough. I really want to make this year special. I know, presents is not the real meaning of Christmas- and there will be plenty of teaching about that- but it is sooooo special to see their faces light up with pure joy! The beauty of working the night shift is the kids just stay with my room mate and barely know that I am gone. Of course, I am struggling to stay awake the next day, but it is only three times, so I can handle it!!
I bought some lights for the outside trees and decorated them yesterday. When it was dark, the kids just stood in awe thinking it was the prettiest sight ever. This morning, I went shopping for the weekly stuff at a local closeout store and found the greatest thing for Tyler- a hermit crab habitat. I contemplated getting it because he was with me. But knowing how this store works- it may not be there tomorrow. Ty can really be very clueless sometimes (no, not MY son!) and that worked to my advantage today! I slid the box under the cart while he was looking somewhere else. When it came time to checkout, I casually put it on the belt face down. He never even asked about it!!
I know this year will be different, but I am determined not to let the tragedies of this year ruin our spirit. I am starting fresh. I have bought all new ornaments except for the kids' stuff. He did not like real trees, so we rarely had them. I LOVE real trees. That is a smell that will be in heaven!!! We are planning to go the day after Thanksgiving with another family in the church to cut down our own!! I really am becoming "de-big-city-ized" (love my word creations?)!! I will let myself grieve when things hit. But I am determined to cry for just a moment. "Joy comes in the morning." God truly has better in store for me, and I am already seeing that!!