Friday, December 7, 2007

Getting back on track

Yes, I am getting better!!!!!!!!!!! I feel a bit stronger each day- both physically and mentally. I did not realize just how tired I really was. I have revamped my schedule, and have come to grips with the fact that I can not do everything that I used to do as a stay at home mom. Much of that is in my own self. I never asked for this life, and was trying to hold on too tightly to the ways of before. My baby really will not suffer if I buy jar food for him instead of make it all from scratch!! But, oh, how the tears fell last week when I stood in the baby aisle of the grocery store looking at all the jars! I felt like a failure- like I am cheating him out of what all the other kids have all had. Silly, I know!!! He will be fully on "table foods" in just a couple of months! I have gone down to the bare basics of housework! I am a neat freak at heart, so it is hard to overlook things sometimes, but it really is ok.

We are very much enjoying our Christmas tree- although the floor seems to be an endless collector of needles and dropped ornaments! I did a bunch of shopping this week and am really getting excited to see their faces on Christmas morning. God is soooo good. I still stand amazed at all I have been able to purchase for them! (And, yes, I have splurged some on some things that I want as well)!!

Winter arrived in New England with a fury on Monday. The measurement in our driveway was 11 inches! The kids were happy to have a day off school. Praise God, I have had three offers to help with the plowing, so I will not have to attempt to control that beast of a machine!! I know this post is a bit choppy. I guess I do not have as much to say as I thought when I sat down!! I
have some difficult days to get through this month. Please pray for me as I heal through my wedding anniversary (on the 19th) and on Christmas. I know it will get easier once the first one is over. Love you all!!!


Ann-Marie said...

Hey, J - Sorry I wasn't here earlier. I've been out of the blogosphere for a while now, since my real life has been so busy.

I'm sorry to hear about all that you went through, and I will keep praying. I'm glad you are taking the Dr.'s advice and resting. I wish I could be there for a girl's night, but know that I'm there in spirit. You are so close to my heart! Hope you have a great weekend!

Juliet said...

While cathing up with your blog, I realize that your church is a truly Christian church. Helping people where they truly need help. Not only in money, but with emotional help.

May God grant you peace and some true physical rest this holiday season.
Love and prayers, Juliet

Warren and Tana Brokering said...

You amaze me with your strength. I have sat here tonight reading your blog and seeing your growth as God gives you strength to get through each day and how you consciously choose to respond as God would have you, but also I see your human side. You have been a blessing. I have not had this situation, but am experiencing a difficult situation myself as my husband has stage 4 colon cancer and our life has changed drastically. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Heidi said...


no you are not a bad parent to give the baby jar food. If you are, so are the rest of us out there who do it all the time.

Maybe it is time to enlist Kristin to help with some of the easier household tasks (unless you do all ready). My girls are 4 and love to help dry dishes (usually with a promise of a small reward -- usualy candy or something like that).

Continue to take care of yourself. If you are not healthy, neither is anyone else.