This phrase seems so quaint and trite- until you are in the midst of your life falling apart. Then it seems sooooo not true. How can God be good and allow a seemingly good man to go so bad? As I mentioned, the "Noisy Soul" series has been a lifeline for me. It has a meditation CD that I have been falling asleep to most nights. The points of it are: My soul can rest because: God is good- always; God always has my best interests in mind; God will always meet my genuine needs. It gives many scriptures to back up all these statements.
I want to list a few of the ways I have seen God work for good this last month. While the hubby started out being horrible, he has changed his tune a lot. He is no longer openly flaunting the other woman at me. He is not fighting me about anything. He has agreed upon a very fair monthly allotment for child support/ alimony. He is allowing me to keep the house. He promises to allow me to raise the kids in a Godly fashion. God has also blessed me with a wonderful job. Working full time is pretty much a given as a single mom, but it was breaking my heart to think of putting the kids in daycare- especially the baby. I have been home with all the other ones, and I felt like he would be cheated. When I called the nursing home I was working at last year, I found that they had baylor position open. For those not in health care, that is a full time position where you work three 12 hour shifts and get paid for a full 40 hours. My shift is Fri., Sat., and Sun. 7 PM- 7AM. I am having my sister in law come to sleep over with the kids, so they will not have to leave their home. And the best part is I am still a full time mom all week! My sleep with be a bit choppy and scarce on the weekends, but this really is my "way of escape" (I Cor. 10:13). Our needs are being met. I just sit back in amazement at the giving spirit of many in my church. And not just in the physical things. Several of the men are just loving on the kids in a big way. And the kids are just clinging to them!!
I read an illustration last week that really hit home. What woman doesn't love a beautiful diamond ring? But how many times do we stand in the jewelry store and think about all the hard toil that went into making that beautiful piece? The diamond had to be chipped and polished. The gold had to be melted at an intense heat and then stretched and formed while still hot to be molded into the perfect circle. That piece of jewelry has a master creator behind it. But who stops to give the creator credit for all the hard work? I have no idea where my life is heading. A month ago I lived a pretty peaceful "perfect" little Christian life. Now, all is upside down. Yes, I allow the tears to flow when they begin. I grieve for my loss. But I will not allow it to ruin me. God has some purpose in this and when I come out on the other side, I will be a stone to rival the Hope Diamond!!