Well, it has been two days since the hubby and I had those deep conversations, and I believe that my pastor was once again correct. The hubby was not really ready to come home, he was just feeling me out. Tonight, he was the same old hard man who just couldn't understand why I can't get it that he does not want to be married to me ever again. He then proceeded to tell me many details of the two affairs that he has had. And yet, he would not admit that he cheated on me! I will spare the horrifying details, but it is amazing to me the perverse nature of the unsaved. Yes, I now believe that he is truly unsaved. I was told today by a woman that has been working with him for many years that he has always had a very fowl mouth. This information shocked me, because I honestly can say I never heard him swear!! I asked him how could he live with himself all those months. How could he come home and snuggle up with me after he had just been doing such perverse things with someone else? How could he go to church week after week, sing in the choir, and lead the congregational singing knowing the wicked things he was doing? He asked me to remember how he had once said he wanted to quit but he didn't go through with it because he didn't want to answer the questions.
This was definately a "venting" post! Thanks for listening. I know God can change his heart, but right now, that is one hard man who has no intention of ever returning to Christ.