I remember seeing commercials for a reality show a while back called "the surreal life." I never saw it, but the title sums me up right now. The church had to "discipline" my husband out of fellowship last night. My church is filled with many new and young believers, so our pastor took the time to Biblically explain what all church discipline is about. I was ok until it came time for the vote to occur. The floodgate of tears was opened! The mental picture flashed before me of sitting in a courtroom listening to a "guilty" verdict being read and the sentence handed down. Hearing Pastor say things like the people are to no longer socialize with him. (Not that he wants anything to do with anyone...) When it came time for the end and pastor asked if there were any questions, I whispered to the dear friend sitting next to me "is this really my life?"
Pastor was careful to include that disassociating does not mean that they snub the person. Just that any contact they have should be to call him back to repentance. And what loving arms they wrapped around me! I truly know that the kids and I will always be looked after. Even down to the mowing of the yard. I certainly can run a mower, but people are so gracious and want to help. So I will humbly let God's people care for us and be thankful for it.
Yesterday was really a tough day. The hubby wanted to fill out papers and hash out details of finalizing stuff. There is so much detail involved in dissolving a marriage, you would think people wouldn't do it so much! And my #3 kiddo really struggled when it was time to go and daddy wasn't coming with. He just doesn't understand at all- it is so gut wrenching to watch.
I have many decisions to make in the coming weeks. I am reminded of one of the songs the kids sing at church: "little by little, inch by inch. By the yard it's hard, by the inch- what a cinch!" I think that will have to be my motto. One choice at a time and then I will make it!